Poaching deer during office hours doesn't pay 👨‍💼

If you’re still with us, that means you’ve made it to the middle of yet another week.

With that in mind, let’s all take a minute to grab a coffee or whiskey and get another mid-week dispatch out the door.

Here's what's worth reading about so far this week:

• Not quite PTO - Employee illegally shoots deer on break 👨‍💼

• Big day in Ohio - Opening day numbers shatter records 🦌

• Texas bear watch - Small town under watch 🐻

• Honoring your wife - Ontario man wrestles polar bear 🐻‍❄️

• Big gator, bigger snake - A 12-foot gator with an even bigger python 🐍

NOT SURE HOW THIS WILL WORK OUT FOR HIM
AFTER GETTING FIRED FOR POACHING A DEER DURING OFFICE HOURS, FORMER SCHOOL SUPERVISOR NOW SEEKING $677K IN DAMAGES

Life can be stressful and we all have different ways of blowing off steam. For one Oregon man, he just went about it entirely the wrong way.

Last November, Paul Simmons, the long-time maintenance manager at the Clatskanie School District in northwest Oregon, found himself in trouble with the law for killing a deer on company time. 

According to reports, the man’s father had been recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and as anyone can imagine, Simmons was distraught. Looking for an outlet for his frustration regarding the diagnosis, he reportedly left work unannounced, grabbed his rifle and took a shot at the first unsuspecting deer he found. It wasn’t long before Oregon State Police caught up with Simmons and soon charged him for the illegal kill. While it’s still unclear who called the police, his rifle and the deer were confiscated and he was eventually charged for the unlawful killing and official misconduct…

What to know about Massachusetts bear, deer hunting season: Hours, dates, permits: If you're planning on hunting black bears or white-tailed deer this year, shotgun season officially begins today in Massachusetts. Read the full story.

Missouri hunters harvest over 11,400 deer in special CWD hunting season, MDC reports:  Preliminary data released on Tuesday from the Missouri Department of Conservation (MDC) reports that hunters harvested 11,424 deer during the state’s chronic wasting disease (CWD) portion of the firearms deer-hunting season, Nov. 27 – Dec. 1, in CWD Management Zone counties.  Read full story.

Gear up for West Virginia’s deer muzzleloader and Mountaineer Heritage Seasons: West Virginia’s hunting seasons are steeped in tradition, and participating in the deer muzzleloader season in December and the Mountaineer Heritage Season in January provide incredible opportunities for you to connect with that heritage. Read full story.

This Texas neighborhood is currently under 'bear watch': The Texas Parks and Wildlife Department (TPWD) issued a "bear watch" after it received multiple reports of a black bear roaming the Double Diamond neighborhood, south of Alpine, last week.   Read full story.

Over 26,000 Deer Harvested on the First Day of Ohio Gun Hunting Season:  The Ohio Department of Natural Resources said the 26,667 deer harvested marks the highest opening day harvest since 2012 when 29,297 deer were harvested. Read the full story.

THIS WEEK’S HERO // ^{_{WRASSLIN’ POLAR BEARS}}

ONTARIO MAN SEVERELY INJURED AFTER SAVING HIS WIFE FROM AN ATTACKING POLAR BEAR

Getting into a tussle with the largest bear species on the planet is almost always something that we’d advise against. But if a polar bear happens to be attacking your wife - well, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.

And that’s exactly what took place when a northern Ontario man and his wife went outside their Fort Severn home to look for their dogs in the early morning hours earlier this week. According to reports, the couple were in their driveway at about 5 a.m. in search of their dogs when the surprised bear decided to lunge at the man’s wife.

As she slipped to the ground in fear, her husband leapt into action and attempted to tackle the white bruin before it was able to mount an attack on his wife. 

"While in the driveway of their home, a polar bear lunged at the woman," police said.

"The woman slipped to the ground as her husband leapt onto the animal to prevent its attack. The bear then attacked the male, causing serious but non-life-threatening injuries to his arm and legs."

As the attack continued in the driveway, a neighbor noticed the commotion and arrived on the scene with a high-powered rifle. Blasting the bear multiple times as the animal chewed on the man’s legs and arms, the bear finally retreated into a nearby wooded area. The injured man was taken to a nearby community nursing station shortly thereafter to be treated for his injuries. 

Police later located the deceased bear in the wooded area and have stated that the victim is expected to make a full recovery from his injuries. 

Who says chivalry is dead?

VIDEO // ^{_{SOME THINGS JUST HAVE TO BE SEEN}}

🐍 A 12-foot alligator was spotted dragging a python that is believed to be twice its size. This is some Florida sh*t right here. The video was filmed in Everglades National Park by a tour guide from the Shark Valley Observation Tower, and it’s believed to be one of the biggest they’ve ever seen.

“The record for longest python found in the Florida Everglades is 19 feet. Given that this alligator is minimum 10 feet, though I estimate him to be more around 12 feet, this python being twice his size is now quite possibly the longest Burmese python ever found in Everglades National Park,” they said.

Oh, and one more thing…