A Citizen's Arrest, Bear Penises and a Porcupine...🐻🍆🦔

I’m currently at the “it’s Thursday already?” phase of the workweek and am unsure as to whether or not that is a good thing as of yet. For those of you who have also made it through, a pat on the back is deserved.

With that in mind, let’s all take a minute to grab a coffee or whiskey (no judgement) and get this Thursday morning dispatch out the door.

Here's what's worth reading about today:

• Dick bones and cell phones - Bizarre poaching case uncovered in BC 🍆

• Undocumented - Texas game wardens bust illegal immigrant hay bale scheme 🐕‍🦺

• Dirty dozen - Three Louisiana poachers nailed after killing 12 deer 🚔

• Tangled - A pair of bald eagles found themselves in a peculiar situation, but FREED themselves 🇺🇸

DICK BONES AND CELL PHONES
CITIZEN’S ARREST LEADS TO BEAR PENISES AND PORCUPINES IN BIZARRE BC POACHING SCHEME

It was the sound of gunshots that tore through the small community of Bridge Lake, British Columbia one fateful October evening that has busted open a massive poaching investigation in the western Canadian province.

According to reports, following the sounds of gunshots, Bridge Lake residents took it upon themselves to investigate. What they found was a bewildered man exiting the woods who allegedly lost track of his ‘hunting’ party. The locals then placed the confused hunter under “citizen’s arrest” while they waited on RCMP officers to arrive on the scene.

"A truck took off," the search warrant says. "But one male was found on scene, and people have performed a 'citizens arrest.'"

According to the documentation, a witness allegedly told investigators the man did not speak English.

"She claimed her husband "got the suspect to kneel down and take any items out of his pocket. The suspect then ran off on foot," the warrant read…

🐕‍🦺 Texas Game Wardens foil undocumented immigrant operation. Following the news of shutting down a poopy-perpetrator who used a Port-a-Potty as a hunting blind on private property, Lone Star Game wardens are at it again. Called in to support law enforcement agencies through the state’s Operation Lone Star program, a Texas Game Warden and his K9 partner, Jake, uncovered more than they bargained for. During a suspected bailout, the K9 alerted his partner to a vehicle, indicating that people could be hiding inside. As other officers examined the vehicle, the K9 led his partner on the track of the bailout suspect and were soon able to locate and apprehend their man.

As Jake and the warden returned to the vehicle, they learned a large hay bale had been flipped over and required their assistance. Sniffing around the bale, the K9 officer indicated that something about the bale was off. As officers inspected the bale, they soon found it to be constructed of a woven wire frame and contained 10 undocumented men concealed on the inside.

🚔 Louisiana men cited for poaching a dozen deer across three parishes. Three men have been cited for their involvement in the illegal killing of 12 deer across multiple Louisiana parishes during the 2024-25 season. After receiving reports that three men were illegally harvesting deer, Louisiana officials nabbed their suspects during a license and compliance check in January.

Rickey Bordelon, 55, of Alexandria, and Kurtis Lavigne, 64, of Pineville, were cited for over the daily limit of antlerless deer and failing to tag deer, officials said. William Pennington, 53, of Deville, was also cited for over the seasonal limit of antlered deer, failing to tag deer and taking an illegal deer during an open season.

Bordelon could face civil restitution totaling $3,249, Pennington could face $6,498 and Lavigne $9,748 for the replacement value of their illegally taken deer.

🦅 You’re out walking the dog and you come across not one, but two bald eagles that have somehow got all tangled up. I have no clue how this happened, but the good news is apparently they FREED themselves. See what I did there? 🇺🇸

🐃 Forget the Wounded Buff: I didn’t realize it as this particular adventure unfolded, but really, it all came back to Tanya.

What she said was: “Do you have to?”

It was about 4:00 p.m., and that hour had significant teeth, because the head professional hunter, Lew Games wanted everyone back inside the compound by 6:00. The penalty for violating curfew was the all too real potential of getting ambushed by a communist guerilla outfit called ZANLA. Despite that, Rory had pointed out to the peninsula. It jutted into the Zambezi River. And it had a trio of magnificent Cape buffalo bulls. 

I kissed her. “All I want to do is shoot just one buffalo.” She nodded and Rory and I were off, moving downhill. Rory didn’t take us to the base of the peninsula. He took us to the water.  Read the full story.

👊 Woodie Wheaton: Maine’s Grandest Guide: Woodie Wheaton only had a 10th grade education, but got his PhD in the woods and waters of Washington County, Maine. Beginning at age 14 and continuing for the next 68 years, he was recognized as one of the most skilled and respected Registered Guides in the state. “Woodie had no peers,” stated veteran guide Earl Bonness at Woodies graveside service in 1990. 

Woodie passed away more than 20 years ago, and there hasn’t been a day gone by that I haven’t thought of him. He was a legend in his neck of the woods, a pal, hero and mentor to many. Woodie was well known for his wonderful sense of humor and his skills as a canoe builder, axe man, woodsman, fisherman, hunter and guide. He could pole a canoe upriver, and cut and split a pile of wood that would kill most men.  Read the full story.

🪶 The Black Belt’s Quail Comeback:  I had been carefully instructed: At Gusto, you shoot only the rise. You don’t track down the single bobwhite quail that rockets off on its own to land in a thicket a hundred yards away. You don’t go after the pairs and the triples and the busted coveys. You absolutely do not shoot birds that have not been pointed. Thomas Harris was gentle with the admonishment, but firm. Harris bought Gusto’s first 118 acres in 2004, and has spent the past two decades building what is now a 1,700-acre property and the Gusto experience with intentional precision. This is the way we do it, he had explained earlier, as we gathered in the sun-filled great room of his Gusto home, on the morning before the hunt. This is the only way we do it.  Read the full story.

Oh, and one more thing…